1 RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!11!1111!1one1eleven
OMG, sing (uv teh rage) uv Peleus kitten Akilleez "teh Griefer",
2 hoo no cud haz long life, hoo cauzd teh Acheing n00bz menee hurts.
3 He frowed n2 teh Basement lotza solz
4 uv grate kittehs, but maked der bodeez noms fer teh goggies
5 an birdies. Srsly. Teh will uv Ceiling Cat wuz b-n fulfilled . . .
6 When did dey begind 2 fite,
7 Atrydeez king uv kittehs (aka Agamemnom teh Troll), an godliek Akilleez?
8 (Y u no b friends?) Wut ceiling cat maked dem fite?
9 Zeus an Letos kitten (Ap0ll0). He beed angrycat at teh king
10 an he unleeshed pwnage dat killed menee n00bz,
11 becuz Atrydeez dissed teh preest-Lolrus Cryseez
(hoo wuz 1 uv Ap0ll0s bros).
12 (Dat wuz) becuz he (Cryseez) wuz goed 2 teh Acheings fast boats
13 fer 2 rezkyoo his dawter (an bukkit), wif lotza trezyur,
14 an he had strings dat Ap0ll0 teh Sniper lieked
15 on gold stickage, an he begged all teh Acheings,
16 espeshully teh leederz, teh 2 sons uv Atrayus:
17 'Sons uv Atrayus an udder armurred Acheings,
18 2 u may teh Olimpiks godz gif teh howzez
19 an all uv Priams city 2 destroy, an (mayday gif u) safe rides home:
20 just gif me mah deer kitten (an bukkit) — take teh ransum.
21 respekt teh Sniper ceiling cat, Ap0ll0.'
22 An all teh udder Acheings sed "++, 'like',
23 honur teh preest-Lolrus, take teh awsum ransum!"
24 But Atrydeez Agamemnoms hart DID NOT WANT,
25 an he (Agamemnom) yelled at him (teh Lolrus):
26 "Never let me see u bai teh boats agin, Lolrus;
27 GTFO, an stay out! (If ai c u agin,)
28 teh stick an strings uv teh god will nawt protekt u.
29 Ai will nawt gif u her b4 oldness
30 pwns her n mah house n Argoes, far from her fadurland,
31 as she slaves back an 4th b4 teh loom an iz wif me n mah bed
(7/10, will bang).
32 GTFO, while u can, b4 I b angrykitteh."
33 He (Agamemnom) sed dat,
an teh Lolrus wuz afrayed, an obayed teh or-dur.
34 He walked sighlentlee along teh (shoar uv teh) lowd C.
(Unliek gurlkittehs, he no lieked long walks on beech.)
35 When he had goed far away, teh old Lolrus prayed
36 2 teh lord Ap0ll0, hoo Leto teh Luvly-Furred had gived birf 2:
37 Hear me, U wif teh Silver Bow, u hoo prowl Cry-Sea
38 an holee 'Killa' (wich iz Greek 4 'Ass-Kulured'!), lord uv Tenadoes,
39 Sminteohs (Ap0ll0 haz lotza nayms): if ai evarr put a ceiling on a templ an it plzed u,
40 oar u evarr lieked teh cheezburgrz ai grilled 4 u,
41 cow-cheezburgrz oar goat-cheezburgrz, plz can ai haz dis?:
42 Make teh Dana-1s (aka Acheings) pay 4 mah teerz bai sufferin ur arroes.
43 He (Lolrus) prayed, and brite Feebee's Ap0ll0 hurd him. . .
(The numbers indicate which line of the Greek original is being translated.)
No comments:
Post a Comment